Sunday, November 16, 2008

Seek first to understand, Then to be understood

In the book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens, Sean Covey describes how to seek first to understand and then to be understood. According to the book, the replication of Sean Covey's ideas should improve relationship skills. I remember a time when I was at School and one of my friends needed a good ear, and all I did was exercise my selective hearing. I realized that she really needed my to understand her, and I felt extremely terrible.

Standing in the hallway at school, I realized that a geed friend of mine, Stacy, was walking toward me. When she arrived by my side, she began to talk. I was not really listening to anything she said, even though she seemed upset. Every time she would ask me what I thought of her situation, I would reply "Oh that sounds interesting:, of "Wow! That is not very good." Stacy realized that I was not paying her any attention, and became upset. She then walked off without another word.

The next day at school, Stacy did not even mutter a single word to me. I could not figure out what I had done to her. Then all of the sudden I remembered my inconsiderate behavior from the recent day. I felt so ashamed of what I had done, so I went and apologized to Stacy. She was a good friend, so she forgave me even though I had been so rude.

I now realize that I should be more considerate, and that I should try to understand people better.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

In the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, Sean Covey, the author, tells us that we should be proactive. I remember one time when I was proactive even though my brother would not stop bothering me.

I was sitting in my room doing my homework when my little brother barged in and started disturbing my belongings. He started picking up everything and placing each object in a new place. Once he realized that he was not having fun destroying my room, he started asking me really dumb questions to which he already knew the answers. My first reaction was to yell at him, and to tell him to "Leave my stuff alone! My things do not belong to you and I know you will break something because you break everything you touch!" At that moment I remembered what Sean said about being proactive, and instead of yelling at my brother, I told him to "Please stop, and when I finish my homework, I will play a game with you."

I felt good about what I had done, because I had told my brother to stop so I could finish my homework, and I had made him happy by telling him that I would play with him.